How many systems failed blooming spring?
When sting of darkness clipped a wing
Did they ask her where she wanted to be?
Powers conspired against powers that be
When sting of darkness clipped a wing
Was it fear or evil laughing in glee?
Powers conspired against powers that be
Gardens withered away, not breathing free
Was it fear or evil laughing in glee?
Don’t let freshness turn permanent
Gardens wither away, not breathing free
so they don’t become eminent
Don’t let freshness turn permanent
How many systems failed blooming spring?
so they don’t become eminent
Did they ask her where she wanted to be?
Poetics: Persephone.
Reena Saxena 
This is an epic poem with gorgeously placed repetitions that work to fulfill their purpose. 💝💝
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Thank you, Sanaa!
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Repetition used so powerfully here….and most especially in the sense of the question itself…forcing the reader to answer in her/his head.
I enjoyed this very much.
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Thanks a ton, Lillian!
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I also love the line you ended with as it echoes into a silence, as it is clear nobody asked her. Wonderful writing with a very clear message, Reena.
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Thank you, Lisa! A comment on the same page makes a lot of sense. What stopped her from stating her point of view? Why wait to be asked?
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You’re welcome. When all of the adults in your world are omnipotent gods, you probably don’t question them on their decisions much. Too much risk of one of those nasty things that gods are wont to do when questioned happening. Just a theory.
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😂😂
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A question arises as I read “No one asked her where she wanted to be”. My question is … did she have to wait to be asked? Perhaps the answer to that might change the equation!
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You are so right. I guess systems were good at inducing guilt to incapacitate will – the 8 pomegranate seeds for example.
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Love a pantoum, and love that you began and ended with the most important question of all. Where is Persephone’s voice in all this? In this poem she represents all women who are treated as objects by those aroudn them – still too often. Thank you for sharing this.
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Thank you, Sarah!
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sass whatta gas ha ha
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This is really beautiful Reena. I find myself reading it over and over. I love the flow and form you used to to tell her story. We hear her! ☺️💕🌺
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Grateful, Christine! It means a lot.
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My pleasure Reena 💕🌺
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The pantoum is a perfect form for this–the story that echoes and repeats.
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Thank you, Merril!
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You’re welcome!
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Loved it ❤️
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Thank you!
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Beautifully expressed the woes of the down trodden.
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It applies to all. But the subjugation of women has been disguised as protection, possessiveness or love.
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You’re right, in name of protection, many of their rights have been usurped
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Beautiful! xx Michael
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Thank you, Michael!
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You are welcome, Reena! Thank you as well. Enjoy your day. xx Michael
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Reblogged this on NEW OPENED BLOG > https:/BOOKS.ESLARN-NET.DE.
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A love how you give voice to the victim here: she has been failed so many times.
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Thank you so much, Ingrid! Her capacity to produce was probably seen as a threat. Hence, subduing her became necessary. There was no ‘falling in love’, as the story suggests.
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I expect you are right!
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Come to think of it, no one ever asks where you would rather be… Well said.
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Women have been expected to conform, rather than be.
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Time that changed, I think…
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Certainly!
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Wonderfully written, Reena. The form reinforcing the thought.
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Thank you so much, Punam!
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My pleasure, Reena.
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