Once again

The gawkiness of childhood left behind often generated a ‘Was that really me?’ feeling. She blamed the lack of sophisticated parents and a nurturing environment for it.

The question she asked herself with embarrassment, was soon replaced with a “Is that really me?” It was again the environment -the psychopath boss and toxicity of a mismatched marriage all taking its toll. Somehow, she could not place the blame at another’s doorstep now.

 It was the wrong decisions she had taken. Failure to build a financial safety nest compelled her to stay in the job and marriage. She had convinced herself that there was no way out. Thoughts of afterlife and reincarnation fascinated her. She would find peace somewhere, sometime….

She looked into the mirror to tell herself, as she swallowed the bottle of sleeping pills…

You will love again the stranger who was yourself

Advertisements

10 thoughts on “Once again

  1. I recognise that ‘gawkiness of childhood’, Reena, and have asked myself the same questions. You’ve captured the toxicity of the lack of a nurturing environment and a mismatched marriage so well in so few words and conveyed how easy it is to convince yourself that there’s no way out, with the downward spiral into darkness. I hope the glance in the mirror woke her up and the pills were only a cry for help.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s