The gawkiness of childhood left behind often generated a ‘Was that really me?’ feeling. She blamed the lack of sophisticated parents and a nurturing environment for it.
The question she asked herself with embarrassment, was soon replaced with a “Is that really me?” It was again the environment -the psychopath boss and toxicity of a mismatched marriage all taking its toll. Somehow, she could not place the blame at another’s doorstep now.
It was the wrong decisions she had taken. Failure to build a financial safety nest compelled her to stay in the job and marriage. She had convinced herself that there was no way out. Thoughts of afterlife and reincarnation fascinated her. She would find peace somewhere, sometime….
She looked into the mirror to tell herself, as she swallowed the bottle of sleeping pills…
You will love again the stranger who was yourself
Reena Saxena 
So many stories with similar theme. The secret, of course, is to become the survivor, not the victim.
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This tempts me to write another one 😀
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Yet… I often think that in that childhood is always the key to get a solution to another future than those pills… so many stories about suicide this week.
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Unfortunately, suicide attempts are commoner than we think.
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Oh, you really went dark with this one! Loss of identity can do that to a person! Well done!
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Thank you, Dwight!
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I recognise that ‘gawkiness of childhood’, Reena, and have asked myself the same questions. You’ve captured the toxicity of the lack of a nurturing environment and a mismatched marriage so well in so few words and conveyed how easy it is to convince yourself that there’s no way out, with the downward spiral into darkness. I hope the glance in the mirror woke her up and the pills were only a cry for help.
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Mental health issues are a cry for help, if raised at the right time.
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I wish she would have made a less extreme choice for her situation. I hope she found what she was looking for…
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Hope so 🙂
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