Living with Insanity

Someday, this will be over– only remembered like some half-felt and fading nightmare.

Someday, nobody will believe that it actually happened, that she had to go through the hell they know only from novels or movies. People who see the smiling couple posing for pictures will never know what transpired in the privacy of their chambers.

She doesn’t even know what level of insanity is that. Is it bipolar disorder or schizophrenia or something else? What brings out the worst in a man when he thinks nobody is watching him? What makes him so insecure, and then makes him project that insecurity on others, shifting blame for everything that is wrong with his life? What makes him think that making her bow to his wishes will fill up that never-ending, unexplained in him?

What makes the same person cling so much to outsiders, as if self-esteem is a function of  validation received from outside? What creates so much emptiness inside that it cannot be filled up without that meaningless chatter with the outside world? Why that desperation of imposing his presence on others, and gloat on gaining acceptance?

She will never know, for she is so complete in her solitude.

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