Asphyxiation …. Suffocation ….. choking feeling in the throat.
She could never find the exact word for the feeling. But this is how she felt all her life with the negativity and pessimism around her. They are all well-meaning, highly respected people in their social and professional spheres, but who lack the capacity to imagine life outside the box. Unfortunately, she has never learnt to live inside the box.
Whenever she is all enthusiasm about doing something, there is a raised eyebrow, consternation, fear, paranoia, negative words and a dreadful voice telling her not to go ahead with it. She often fantasizes about choking each negative voice to death, like a fish out of water. Perhaps, it is the right simile, because that is how she feels in those hallowed surroundings.
They think there is plenty of oxygen in the air for her to breathe – not realizing that her creative and incompatible gills contract. She is unable to absorb the incompatible air, and is slowly choking to death.
Hopefully, some day, she will die in the eyes of the world …. and find another world to live … in the manner she wants …. free, floating, reaching her maximum potential.