I grew up on a Mills & Boon diet, where the protagonists always come together in the end. Their dalliances, misinterpretations and over-emotional responses kept me hooked, till they reunited. Being married appeared to be the ultimate goal of a relationship. The social milieu attempted to reinforce the concept.

Then, Ayn Rand’s books arrived in my life, with her revolutionary philosophy. People loved each other,  only for the value system they held. The order of relationships always moved towards the next person, at a higher level of conceptual clarity and values. The idea of a woman being desired by several men of her ilk, and her prerogative to choose, was pure fantasy, but appealed.

Reality is starker than that. Life, love and values do not always move in linear progression. There are the bad experiences, which make one value the past, or look forward to something better in future. The future is not always as idyllic as one had dreamed.

Disappointment changes to acceptance, as one discovers the myriad facets of interpersonal relationships. All the people who think like I do, make a difference to life. Acceptance matters. Romance, undying love …. all seem so inadequate in comparison. I need that moment of understanding and acceptance right now. I need a partner for this patch of my journey, right now. Does it really matter, if you were there in the past, or will be there in the future? This mission needs to be accomplished. And the accomplices add value.

These are the bits that constitute the fabric of life. The underlying strength of the fibre lies in understanding the other point of view, and accepting it. Love is a surreal concept, with people always striving to achieve the highest potential. Acceptance is real, tangible and helps one to move forward.

We tend to confuse the different concepts, and mess up our life with a feeling of inadequacy and failure. No two relationships will be identical, but they are worth it, if you have moved a notch forward in life. There is no infidelity, as the contribution of one cannot be compared with another.

Infidelity means physical adultery, or disloyalty to a team. Life is so much more than that, with value-sets hitting from different directions. Yes, that is how I see people – value-sets which clash with mine, or are compatible.

non-linear love

drenches me in a shower

springs of wholesomeness


Heeding Haiku with Chevrefeuille

2 thoughts on “Wholesomeness

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