The Loss of Virginity

Extracted piece

This bald year,
this cold day
in the wind.
Noon hurts her eyes.

The torn awkwardness.
the mind goes round.
there’s a center
but never
any certainty.

Malleable moment.
breathing in a spring.
Experience.
the Maiden’s Death.

 

This is different from what I usually write. But I wanted to change the dark nature of the original piece, and infuse some freshness in it.

Thanks for the White Out Wednesday #8 Challenge

https://blackcatalleyblog.wordpress.com/2017/03/22/whiteout-wednesdays-8/

Cover pic: stuff.co.nz

 

Original piece

February Elegy by Mary Jo Bang
© Mary Jo Bang

This bald year, frozen now in February.
This cold day winging over the ugly
Imperfect horizon line,
So often a teeth line of ten buildings.
A red flag flapping
In the wind. An orange curtain is noon.
It all hurts her eyes. This curtain is so bright.
Here is what is noticeably true: sight.
The face that looks back from the side
Of the butter knife.
A torn-bread awkwardness.
The mind makes its daily pilgrimage
Through riff-raff moments. Then,
Back into the caprice case to dream
In a circle, a pony goes round.
The circle’s association: There’s a center
To almost everything but never
Any certainty. Nothing is
More malleable than a moment. We were
Only yesterday breathing in a sea.
Some summer sun
Asked us over and over we went. The sand was hot.
We were only yesterday tender hearted
Waiting. To be something.
A spring. And then someone says, Sit down,
We have a heart for you to forget. A mind to suffer
With. So, experience. So, the circus tent.
You, over there, you be the girl
In red sequins on the front of a card selling love.
You, over there, you, in black satin.
You be the Maiden’s Mister Death.

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3 Comments

  1. Thank you Reena 🙂

    Another interesting interpretation and white out! I like how you’ve condensed this – and through your selection, have painted another story – yet it still runs slightly similar in tone and feel – but it is very powerful. The original piece full of images that create an image, and yet with much fewer words, your piece has great impact, and punch! And the lines ” there’s a center/ but never/ any certainty” ….. absolutely gripping.

    Wow indeed 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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