I love making long speeches. I don’t need to prepare for it. I look at the size of the audience, and go on rambling about my thoughts on the subject, and all my golden memories associated with it. I think of the increasing number of people with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) in the world, as the crowd starts thinning. I pity the idiots! They are in the audience, because they lack an intellectual bent of mind. I have taken years to learn all that I have, and reach this dais. They will not find these gems of wisdom on their devices.
Well, that reminds me … I saw somebody filming the speech, and then the guy vanished. Which part has he captured? I do not remember what I was saying and how was I gesturing at that moment. I do not like playing to the gallery. It is for the wannabes. But will he share the clip? My secretary will make notes from it, to write the next speech.
I see the next speaker fidgeting. I tell you, people have no patience these days. He is thinking about his next Twitter and Facebook update, and is already counting likes.
Satire inspired by The Writing Reader Prompt #2013 The Long Speech