I love to say “I learnt it the hard way”. Really? Have I?
I know that anger is the outer face of sadness, helplessness, powerlessness …. Whatever the ghastly label that one would like to attach to this mental state. Emotions are transient, and this one is not so. Hence, I would not label it as an emotion, and any number of books on Emotional Intelligence do not help. It is a mental state, gnawing at my existence for a long time now.
I have not been able to overcome this, because I don’t want to. This has become my driving force – to transform, to do something better, to prove my abilities the world refuses to see, and …
And yes… avenge the humiliation someday. I do not wish to forget or forgive. It may be poisoning my system, but it is a self-righteous poison – one that will destroy the wrongdoers someday. I allow it to incubate inside me, so that it gathers strength, becomes more powerful.
And all this ….. stemming from a fundamental feeling of powerlessness.
Inspired by The Writing Reader – Prompt #1980 When She’s Angry