The Creator wanted a connected universe, for reasons unknown to us. So, two prototypes were created, who completed each other in certain ways, and created more living beings, that were jointly owned by both. This created a basic unit of living beings called ‘family’, that owed their existence to each other, and were safer and happier in a connected state. The state of connectivity, then, spread across the world, in several expanded versions. Belonging and loyalty to one unit, created competition and conflict with others, and led to the negative emotion of hatred. The consequent myriad shades and levels of existence, form the world, as it is today.
And where are you, Woman ? At the center of the universe, but looking at yourself through the eyes of others ? Where are YOU ? Who are YOU ? Beyond the various roles that nature and society have imposed on you ?
You are not special ! You are as privileged or deprived, as any another human being on this planet. This belief will liberate you.
NINE STEPS TO REBIRTH
One needs to unlearn a few things, shed centuries of conditioning, and step into a free, unencumbered existence.
1. I ask for privileges.
Take what is yours. Claim your rights. Act, do not ask. You are not a dumb and weak organism, whose interest needs to be espoused and granted by others.
2. Motherhood is my liability
It is your power. The man needs you to fulfil his emotional needs of parenthood. The conservative family needs you to give them their ‘heir or heiress’. Enjoy it fully.
It does need concessions for a limited period of time. It is your natural role, to carry a child in your body, and nurse the dependent and demanding ‘bundle of joy’. Beyond that, it is a shared responsibility of both the parents, family and society. Cut the umbilical cord, and share the child !
3. I am physically weak and vulnerable.
Only as long as you think you are. Develop the physique, learn martial arts, HIT BACK. The mindsets will change.
4.I want to be woo-ed and romanced.
So do the guys. But the role of the initiator has been thrust on them, which leads to nervousness and aggression, at two extreme ends of the spectrum. Be yourself, and allow them to be.
A romantic bond is mutual, with equal rights and privileges on both sides. Shatter the myths in your own mind, first.
5. Household management is my job
It is a joint responsibility of all members of the household, to the extent of their physical and financial capacity. Shared ownership and responsibilities with mutual consent can be worked out, not necessarily in line with social norms. Train others to share the workload. Delegate.
Assume responsibility, not just accountability.
6. The universality of marriage
The perfect relationship completes a person. All others are different states of compromise. It is okay to be single and happy. Neither do you need to be overly loud about your state of single bliss, nor feel inadequate.
It is just another state of compromise.
7. Competition amongst women for the attention of a man
This unduly privileged man could be your husband, son, boss or paramour. Play your role and move away to your own independent life. Let him know that he is not the be-all and end-all of your existence. This will end a major part of the conflict. A ‘needy’ person can be manipulated, not a self-sufficient one.
There are many other power battles to be fought in other spheres. Reserve your energy.
8. Rape is the end of life
It is a crime equivalent to murder, and a man, woman or a trans-sexual would all defend themselves in the same manner. It is an injury or disability, as inflicted in any other accident or act of violence. Trauma can be treated and healed. There is no shame or stigma associated with it.
9. Sexual harassment is a taboo topic of discussion
There is a cartel of insensitive and powerful men working to subdue you, to serve their own interests. It is a power game, as good or bad as many others played in the workplace. Create the platforms to fight back. Talk about it, as you do about other workplace issues. Do not allow your silence to be leveraged by others, for their own benefit.
THE MYTH OF BEING SPECIAL
This was a social ‘quid-pro-qo’ arrangement to keep the women protected, respected, nurtured and cared for, and also bound within the confines of a set-up, available as and when needed. By all means, enjoy it, if mutual interests are served, but ensure that you do not pass on this myth or value system, to the future generations.
They need to be educated about the horizons beyond your idyllic confines, and prepared for the battles outside. They need to know that yours is only one happy unit, not the universe. Reset expectations, do not reinforce them